apples to oranges

do you watch the BIGGEST LOSER and wish you could be as disciplined and self motivated as bob and jilian?

go to your childs school function and wish you were as crafty as "so and so's" mommy

see that couple at church and wish your marriage was as thriving as theirs seems to be

attend the neighbors christmas party and wish you could be as creative as she is

wish you could parent like susie straight skirt because her kids seem perfect

read or listen to your favorite leaders in your field and wish you were as successful as they are


I compare myself to others, not a lot but more than i should. when i get caught up in this trap heres what ive noticed happens: i get consumed with myself, i throw pity-parties, im hard to please and dissatisfied, i get a little arrogant and critical and i intentionally neglect spending time with god cause after all thats convicting and uncomfortable.

i am fearfully and wonderfully made. there is no one quite like me. god has a specific plan mapped out for my specific life. he has uniquely gifted me with strengths and talents and abilities that he has intended to use for a specific purpose. he desires to use me in unique ways to bring him glory. does that sound like a motivational tape? prob cause it is one that i play to myself when i struggle with this topic.

when i stop comparing myself to jesus and striving to be like him, i get all messed up. i have to pay attention to christ and how he lived and what he taught. i have to take the time to figure out how he has shaped me and how he has gifted me. i have to take the initiative to be who he has created me to be.

someone is always gonna be prettier, smarter, more disciplined, more creative, more successful and more EVERYTHING! dont get me wrong i think we can all learn from others and be challenged and inspired by how others live their lives. but comparing ourselves to anyone other than christ is a losing battle and a very frustrating way to live.

so lets stop saying i wish i could be more like _____________
and replace it with i want to be more like jesus. and look into scripture and see how to immitate him.

today, for me, its JOY.
what about you?

first time for our family

well, its official, the neely's have had their first broken bone. hudson fell off his bike this afternoon and landed wrong on his hand and broke his pinkie, and i have to admit i have not done well with it.

i am usually very calm during chaotic, traumatic boo-boo type situations. i have even said outloud before, "ya know i think its a mommy thing that we remain calm for our children's sake."

i am also the type of person that can NOT handle bones sticking out of legs and arms or any appendages pointing in an unnatural direction. i cover my eyes when its on the TV. i dont watch youtube videos of people who have broken bones while doing something stupid. i cringe and look away when the slow motion replay shows a football player having his ankle rolled or knee snapped in half.

so when hudson ran in the door yelling "i broke my finger!" my first instinct was to run to him and begin to care for him in a calm manner. but as the seconds ticked by and i saw his pinkie finger in a 90 degree right angle i LOST it! as i was running to comfort him i immedieately became dizzy, flush and nauseated. i turned from him and said to daren, "oh daddy its broke!" and i fell to my knees. daren, thankfully, began trying to calm hudson down and said its ok we will go to the hospital and get it fixed. i wanted so bad to get in the car and go with them but i also had 2 other children that did not need to be rushed to the ER. after making a few phone calls and finding a friend to watch max and reese i sped to the hospital.

i have to say that i have felt like i failed my oldest son today. i have felt guilty all day that i wasnt able to comfort him in his pain and agony, that as i was running toward him, i saw his finger and ran away from him.

after i arrived at the ER i walked in to daren and hudson talking about how freaked out i was and they were laughing about how "silly" mommy acted. i walked up to hudson and rested my forehead on top of his head and apologized to him for not taking care of him and told him that i loved him about a trillion times. then daren told me something that was like salve to my hurting heart. as he was driving hudson to the ER hudson told him that he had felt bad that he had upset me.

in what has been the most traumatic experience of his 7 years of life, his thoughts, emotions and affections turned to me. even though during the initial trauma i turned away from him.

huh, sounds like someone else i know, JESUS! during the most traumatic experience of his life which was his death on a cross. his thoughts, emotions and affections were on me and the rest of creation that at some point in our lives would turn away from him.

thank you jesus for your UNCONDITIONAL love, mercy, grace and forgivness.

You cant say you didnt know.

I can honestly say that hardly a day goes by that human trafficking specifically child trafficking doesnt cross my mind. I seem to be bombarded with thoughts of children all over the world that have no one to speak up for them no one to give them a hope and a future. The images and statistics that are a reality are forever etched in my mind and heart.

So many days i look at Reese and im reminded of the girls that Daren and I would walk past everyday in Bangkok that were looking for "work." I dont know how many chose to live in prostitution and how many were forced. I dont know how many of the children we saw loading up goods for the street vendors were working with/for their parents or if they were bought by the vendors themselves. Either way they were not in school and not enjoying a normal chilhood of playing, running, imagining, dreaming and laughing.

I dont know what all of this means for me. But i do know that what God has opened my eyes and heart to i can no longer ignore. I can no longer just change the channel to avoid the images. I must continue to find ways to help the least of these.

I hope and pray that more people and especially those who have been changed by the grace, love and mercy of Jesus Christ, will begin to pray about what He would have you do to help the poor, broken, lost, helpless, hurt, vulnerable, hopeless and lonely. WE CAN NOT DO EVERYTHING. WE CAN NOT FIX EVERYTHING. BUT, WE CAN DO SOMETHING!

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

http://www.showhope.com/

http://www.love146.org/

http://www.tomsshoes.com/

http://www.freedom424.com/

http://www.charitywater.com/

world vision

compassion international

Holt international adoption

Bethany Christian Services

what's up with me and god.

there are times when i read god's word i think: "i wonder what that means exactly?" " how am i supposed to apply this to my life?" then there are times when i read scripture and it is very clear, almost too clear what it means and how i am supposed to apply it to my life.

for example: isaiah 1:11 says, the lord says, "i do not want all these sacrifices. i have had enough of your burnt sacrifices of male sheep and fat from fine animals. and i am not pleased by the blood of bulls, lambs, and goats." now how does that really apply to me and what does jesus want me to do with THAT!

i know, i know, i randomly yanked a verse out of the bible and did not even take the previous or latter verses and put them into context. but just a few verses down, after god continues to let his people know all the stuf he is sick of seeing and hearing from them, he says this in verses 16-17 "wash yourselves and make yourselves clean. stop doing wrong. learn to do good. SEEK JUSTICE. PUNISH THOSE WHO HURT OTHERS. HELP THE ORPHANS. STAND UP FOR THE RIGHTS OF WIDOWS.

psalm 82:3 defend the weak and the orphans

deuteronomy 15:11 there will always be poor people in the land, so i command you to give freely to your neighbors and to the poor and needy in your land

psalm 10:18 protect the orphans and put an end to suffering so they will no longer be afraid of evil people

james 1:27 religion that god accepts as pure and without fault is this:caring for orphans and widows who need help

THE VULNERABLE. THE LEAST OF THESE. THE POOR. THE ORPHAN. THE WIDOW.

i cant seem to get these out of my mind and heart. the thousands of children dying everyday, the women and children trapped and lured into human slavery, the poor in my community, the poor across the globe, the hurting, the broken, the helpless...

i am slowly starting to NOT care as much about my clothes, my house, my things, my entertainment, my wish lists, how many toys my kids have, if my floors need to be redone, my countertops are modern and if i have the latest and greatest of everything.

im not saying these things are "bad" but in light of the CLEAR instructions and commands of jesus christ, im not sure i should be "wanting" these things. im so messed up by all of this and god is making me more uncomfortable everyday. but i am thankful hes speaking to my heart.

any thought?

The Meaning

many of you may know and many may not know that i have wanted a tattoo for years. i occasionally spend hours on the internet looking at tattoos and meanings of words and designs. for years i have tought about what i would want if i were to get at tattoo. after all, its forever and i want it to be relevant to my life and also be worth the money and pain i was gonna put into it.

two things have become extreamly important to me over the last few years. one, gods glory and my life being a reflection of his glory. two, adoption. after returning home from bangkok, thailand with our beautiful daughter, reese, i knew that whenever i got a tattoo it would somehow involve adoption. as i would spend spare time playing on the internet i would check out pictures of thailand and its culture and natural beauty. one of the things that i loved about bangkok was that in the midst of an over populated city with buildings and people as far as you could see, there were plants and trees and flowers everywhere. the temples and offering spots for buddah were placed all over the city so that anyone could easily have access to them. and all the buddahs were completely covered in flowers, food and insence. this is another topic i could blog about as far as how committed the thai people are to connecting with their "god" on a daily basis.

the flower that stands out to me is the lotus flower, lotus blossom, water lilly. this flower has significant meaning within the buddist religion but for me it is a symbol of our adoption process with reese. the lotus flower starts its life in the mud. and as it struggles to make its way through the mud and water it rises to the surface and the final product is a beautifully designed flower. as we waited and struggled through paperwork and financial deadlines and waiting and emotions and more waiting the end result was a beautiful little girl that god designed and purposed to be in our family. resse also had her own struggles to get through in order to be adopted. to watch her grieve over the loss of her foster family was the sadest thing that i have ever seen. but our god and his grace, mercy, love and faithfulness got us through the struggles and made a beautiful new family.

do you have a favorite kind of sky? sunrise, sunset, when the clouds are beautiful shades of pink, orange, blue or purple? i love looking at the sky and its beauty but my ultimate all-time favoritest sky is when the sunrays are shining through the clouds. why? im glad you asked. as far back as i can remember i have always thought that is what the glory of god looks like. it causes me to wonder if that is what the throne of god looks like. i feel like those sunrays are gods glory peeking through the clouds so that we can get a glimpse of how awesome he is.

so thats it. thats why i chose this for my tatttoo. its gods glory in adoption. i have not one time regretted it. i love it. brooke cook was the artist who took my thoughts and turned it into something tangible. she did an amazing job! she works at anchor tattoo in bryant and i highly recommed her and her husband ryan if you are looking to get a tattoo.

Umbrella Babies

reflections

ok, so if you read my blog because im the preacher's wife and you hope to gleen wisdom and foresight from my posts, then you are going to be very disappointed!

i thought i would share some reflections over the past 12 hours:

1. "its raining its pouring the old man is snoring. bumped his head went to bed and couldnt get up in the morning." first of all this is a weird song for children to learn. second of all its kind of true. just as i was falling asleep last night i was harshly awakened by a picture that usually rests quietly above my bed, falling on my head! it hurt! and i did not want to get out of bed this morning.

2. when all of my children wake up early in the mornings they usually start the day by being grumpy. three grumpy children ='s one grumpy mommy, its simple math people. however, if a bunny rabbit comes hopping into your back yard to eat your grass for breakfast, then that magically takes away the grumpiness in the three children. this works for at least 15 minutes or until the children scare the poor rabbit away.

3. having to wash ALL of the bedding for 2 beds in the span of 2 days is irritating and time consuming. my sweet, precious, b-e-autiful, adorable daughter cant seem to keep her pee in her diaper. so in the last 2 days i have had to strip and wash her bedding and mine. the funny part is that she did it again this morning in my bed. i know you think, if i were a more attentive mother then i wouldnt let her diaper get to the point of over flowing. and you would be correct in making that assumption. but it is also due to the fact that she is so stinking skinny. if she is sitting in a not-so-lady-like-position then she will have pee all down her legs and consequently all over my bed.

so pump your party fist if your with me!

now, the even funnier part of the last 12 hours is that as i did my best to read from god's word this morning, all of the scripture was about PEACE! HA HA! god has the cutest little ways of teaching me sometimes(notice the hint of sarcasm.) but seriously when i put things in the right perspective i find myself ammused by these little lessons. when i dont keep things in perspective i find myself very overwhelmed and NOT very peaceful.

seacrest out!

Man its been awhile.....

So this picture was taken about 8 monthts ago, and thats how long it has been since i have blogged. I know, i apologize. I was reading a couple of blogs today from two of my friends that are adopting little girls from Ethiopia. One of the couples are still in process and dont even know who their daughter is yet and the other got on a plane today to bring their little one home. It caused me to revisit my blog and look back on all that i had posted about our journey of bringing Reese home. I was amazed at how long ago it seemed and yet memories and emotions came rushing back like it was yesterday. Reese has been home about 9 months now and as crazy as it has been, i cant imagine what it was like NOT having her in our family.

I have spent some time today changing up the look of my blog and remembering how good it felt to get the thoughts out of my head and on to paper (uh, well you know what i mean). I am going to try to update this thing with what all is going on in my crazy world of being a wife and mother of 3 and an owner of an annoying dog named friday.

Well, hope you like the new look of my blog, if not....shhhhhut the front door!