Preaching to the choir.

Well there it is! My blog! I thought I lost you.

Sorry "stay at home moms" but this is stuck in my brain and I gots ta get it out.
Do you ever have one of those days or years where you struggle with your husband getting to GO to work everyday, or all the lunches he gets to have, or the meetings where he is interacting w humans and using his brain to think outside the box. Meanwhile you are knee deep in laundry, eating leftover spaghetti for the 16th day in a row, talking to Barbie dolls, and finding a new place to hide during an epic game of hide and seek is about as hard as your brain works in a day?

Just me?

Well, I'm definitely preaching to myself this morning.

Here are a few things Jesus sweetly reminded me of as I was gripping to Him and blow drying my hair.

1. Do you know how unattractive it is to your husband when he comes home from working all day (to provide you w the blessing of being able to be at home) and you play the martyr card?! Telling him ALL the AWFUL things you did that day and how AWFUL his children were and how lucky he is that he gets to "leave" every day and you are "stuck" at home. ITS NOT A COMPETITION. So stop.

2. Do you remember the conversation you had with your husband a loooooog time ago (yea I know God, I'm getting old) when you were pregnant? How I gave you the desire to stay at home and be a daily influence of my love and grace to the precious children I gave you? And how I provided a way financially for you to be able to do this? Yea lets not forget that, cause I can take it away!

3. Hey Ashley. There are thousands of women in you city right now that would love nothing more than to be folding those sweet little socks and making cheese and cracker snacks and swinging at the park and cuddling up on the couch watching infinite numbers of cartoons w their precious babies. But instead they are siting at a desk, being yelled at by their boss, dropping their babies off at daycare for someone else to see those first steps and coloring with them and kissing their boo-boos. So how bout you slow it down a little and be VERY thankful for all those sweet messes you need to clean up in all of those rooms in that big ol' house I've blessed you with.

I don't know how God talks to you. He was sweet in his reminder to me this morning. And my response was, "Yes Sir, I'm so sorry. You are right. Thank you." Then I said "after I blog about this little talk we had I'll get to work"





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

It's On!

Ephesians 6:10-18
You may know it as the "Armor of God" passage. See here's the deal with armor. It's heavy, bulky and quite honestly time consuming to put on. But I have learned, the hard way of course, that it is a MUST to have on in any battle.

It's 4:47 am and I've been awake since 2:50 am. I'm awake because of what started at about 5:00pm. These little lies began creeping into my mind. The lies led to doubt which led to insecurity which led to discouragement. And before you know it I'm in a battle with my thoughts. But Eph 6 says that my battle is not against flesh and blood. It's a spiritual battle. And I'm in up to my neck fighting to get out!

I've had my share of battles through the years. Some I've lost. Some I've won with ease. Some I've won by the skin of my teeth, bruised and scarred. And here's what The Bible tells me about my enemy. He prowls around like a lion seeking to devour me. His objective is to steal, kill and destroy! He has a take no prisoners motto. He knows where I'm weak and may attack when I least expect it. BUT GOD, in his mercy, has given me HIS armor for this battle. But I have to put the armor ON to defend myself against the enemy.

The Belt of Truth - The truth of who God is and who I am in Christ

The Breastplate of Righteousness - I'm protected not because of my own goodness but because of the righteous blood of Jesus Christ

The Gospel of Peace on my feet -as I go through life I have a peace that passes all understanding because of my salvation through Jesus

The Shield of Faith - to extinguish the flaming arrows of the enemy

The Helmet of Salvation - protecting my mind and my thoughts from the deception of the evil one

The Sword of the Spirit - which is the Word of God, the only part of the armor that's used for offense and not defense. It's active, living and sharp. And satan is defenseless against it!

So, with this in mind, BE ALERT!

Be alert at home, with your children, at the grocery store, in your relationships, at work, at the ball game, with your spouse, in your worship experiences, with your finances, when you lay in your bed at night, at school, BE ALERT!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

2012

So, last post i was telling you about CHANGE. As most of you have heard/seen change has happened for the Neely's. We have been in Cypress Texas for 10 days now. A lot has happened and a lot is different. Let me start off with the good stuff. The couple of videos we put out have been a hit in the ol Houston. They have gone viral, if you will. Many of you from thecitychurch know that i'm famous this year for a phrase, "it's 2012 ya'll!!!" As i worked that into one of our videos recently apparently it has resonated. When we showed up to our new house last friday the 10th, multiple people began sharing their new ringtone with me. It goes a little something like this, "Houston Texas, It's 2012 ya'll, its a new year!" While embarrassed i have to admit, it made me feel welcome. Redneck but welcome.

It's been crazy to see how God has had his hand on us. So many things about this move have been stressful and unknown. But God has proven faithful once again and through the whirlwind of the last week we couldn't feel more "at home" than we do here at TheMet in Houston, TX. Daren is jumping in with both feet and excited about getting to work. I'm so proud of him. He led our family to trust God in this new path and his courage and obedience will leave a lasting mark on me and our children.

I have been seeking God and asking Him what it is he has for me in this new adventure. He is beginning to reveal some things to me and i am trying to follow in my husbands footsteps and be courageous and obedient.

The boys have struggled a little adjusting. Mostly just in their behavior at home which has been a bit stressful. They start school tomorrow and we are hoping that will help. If you think about us we would appreciate your prayers for Hudson and Max that they will not try to be anyone other than who God made them to be. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and checking on us. We are so blessed and I'm excited to see what ALL God has in store for us here at TheMet.

Love and chocolate bunnies,

Ashley Neely YA"LL!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Cypress, TX

The winds of change they are a blowin

Who likes change? What percentage of the population of the entire earth prefers constant change over stability and familiarity? We are fine with the seasons changing. We are fine with changing of age (mostly because of birthday presents). We are fine with changing our hairstyle. But who is really excited about major life changes? Death. Loss. Job change. Financial set back. Illness. Would I be correct in assuming most people like change as long as its positive and beneficial?

Do I want to leave the only place I've ever lived? No. Do I want to move far away from my family? No. Do I want to up root my children and put them in new situations and environments that scare them and make them nervous? No. Do I want to be put in new situations and environments that make me nervous? No. Do I want to leave friends that I've known for many many years? No. Do I want to leave places where God is using me? No.

Who in scripture ever experienced the fullness of God without major life changes? Joseph? Nope, sold into slavery by his brothers? David? Nope, Goliath. Gideon? Nope, his army went from tens of thousands to a few hundred. Mary? Nope, pregnant out of wedlock. Paul? Nope, blinding light, jail, shipwrecked? Abraham? Nope, raising a sword to kill his own son. Moses? Nope, burning bush, Pharaoh, wilderness w the Israelites.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

God has things that he has planned for me and my family. Things that He planned before the foundation of the earth. Things that bring Him glory. Things that will draw the lost and broken to Himself. Things that will leave a mark on this world. Things that will change the course of my children's lives. Things that will draw me closer to Him. Things that will allow me to see MORE of who He is. Things that will impact eternity. Things that will further His Kingdom.

So, in the midst of the fear, I will change. In the midst of the unknown, I will change. In the midst of the anxiety, I will change. So that I CAN do the things he has planned for me to do.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Do it for the kids!

About 9 months ago both of my boys decided to pick up a cheap old skateboard we had bought back when we had only one child and we bought anything and everything he was remotely entertained by.

Daren taught them how to stand on the board, how to push and ride. And over the next few days and weeks we quickly realized that they both had a natural ability to SHREAD! Skateboarding began to consume Hudson (8) and Max's (5) little world.

As parents we had a decision to make. We could have said "wow boys that's great!" and just let them skate around the neighborhood and buy stock in Band-aids. OR we could have said "boys you guys are gifted at this and if you really want to keep skating and get better we will do as much as we can to help you!"

The last 9 months have been filled with family vacations to different skateboard parks around the state, hours each week at our local skateparks, skateboard lessons, multiple skate videos, and a slowly changing wardrobe (skinny jeans, skate tshirts and flat billed hats). The biggest joy has been that through a cool Christian skate team and some skate videos that share the gospel while showing you how to SHREAD, Max gave his life to Christ!

My point is that as parents we should help our kids find what it is they are gifted at doing and encourage them. We have the chance to support and equip them to be all that God has gifted them to be. Let's not sit back and let them flounder through their childhood not knowing how god has gifted them. Let's help them discover their talents and abilities and teach them how to be who God has created them to be.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Go Hogs

There are many reasons why I love razorback football.

1) I'm born and raised in Arkansas. That makes it a must!
2) My dad loves razorback football/basketball
3) War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock is insane with all the fans so close and SO LOUD!
4) Daren and I went to the HOGS vs LSU game in LR the thanksgiving weekend we got engaged! Awwww!
5) The season always opens on my and Daren's birthday week so we have celebrated many a birthday w the HOGS.
6) Matt Jones autographed my oldest sons razorback diaper bag
7) I had a razorback diaper bag!
8) Matt Jones, Felix Jones, Darren McFadden
9) I graduated from Oak Grove High School, granted it was 15+ years before Darren McFadden did but I'm a Hornet just the same.
10) Who doesn't love Calling Those HOGS! Wooooooo, PIG, SOOIE!

Why do you love your HOGS or favorite team?



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

What are you afraid of?

Genesis 12

The Call of Abram
1 The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you.
2 I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. 3 I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.”

10 At that time a severe famine struck the land of Canaan, forcing Abram to go down to Egypt, where he lived as a foreigner. 11As he was approaching the border of Egypt, Abram said to his wife, Sarai, “Look, you are a very beautiful woman.12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife. Let’s kill him; then we can have her!’ 13 So please tell them you are my sister. Then they will spare my life and treat me well because of their interest in you.”

WHILE abram was following God and being obedient he got scared of the situation that Egypt may present and sinned. He told Sarai to lie. He not only sinned himself but caused his wife to sin also.

FEAR - When your scared and try to handle things yourself it never ends up well. You get caught up in trying to control situations and you quickly forget that GOD is in control.

Abram was walking in the will of God and at the time it seemed like that was going pretty well and fairly easy for him. But at the first sign of struggle or difficulty he took his eyes off the one that had been leading and guiding him and took matters into his own hands.

I usually do the same thing. And I usually get caught up in sin as the situation gets worse. As I get older I am starting to realize that I am not as strong in my faith as I once thought. As I get older I'm also realizing that there are a lot of bumps in the road and a lot of plan b's. So I'm trying. I'm learning. I'm beginning to recognize the fear quicker and from the onset try to remind myself that IM NOT IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE!!

How do you usually respond when the fear strikes?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

It's been awhile

Basically I'm trying to get back into this blogging thing. As I sit here with my new fangled technology my sons will not stop acting silly! So I thought I would give them the attention that they deserve and put their silly-selves on my blog.


But my pride and joy wants in on the action too! So here she is. I hope to stay a little more connected than I have this past year. Sorry ;( So stay tuned!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

apples to oranges

do you watch the BIGGEST LOSER and wish you could be as disciplined and self motivated as bob and jilian?

go to your childs school function and wish you were as crafty as "so and so's" mommy

see that couple at church and wish your marriage was as thriving as theirs seems to be

attend the neighbors christmas party and wish you could be as creative as she is

wish you could parent like susie straight skirt because her kids seem perfect

read or listen to your favorite leaders in your field and wish you were as successful as they are


I compare myself to others, not a lot but more than i should. when i get caught up in this trap heres what ive noticed happens: i get consumed with myself, i throw pity-parties, im hard to please and dissatisfied, i get a little arrogant and critical and i intentionally neglect spending time with god cause after all thats convicting and uncomfortable.

i am fearfully and wonderfully made. there is no one quite like me. god has a specific plan mapped out for my specific life. he has uniquely gifted me with strengths and talents and abilities that he has intended to use for a specific purpose. he desires to use me in unique ways to bring him glory. does that sound like a motivational tape? prob cause it is one that i play to myself when i struggle with this topic.

when i stop comparing myself to jesus and striving to be like him, i get all messed up. i have to pay attention to christ and how he lived and what he taught. i have to take the time to figure out how he has shaped me and how he has gifted me. i have to take the initiative to be who he has created me to be.

someone is always gonna be prettier, smarter, more disciplined, more creative, more successful and more EVERYTHING! dont get me wrong i think we can all learn from others and be challenged and inspired by how others live their lives. but comparing ourselves to anyone other than christ is a losing battle and a very frustrating way to live.

so lets stop saying i wish i could be more like _____________
and replace it with i want to be more like jesus. and look into scripture and see how to immitate him.

today, for me, its JOY.
what about you?

first time for our family

well, its official, the neely's have had their first broken bone. hudson fell off his bike this afternoon and landed wrong on his hand and broke his pinkie, and i have to admit i have not done well with it.

i am usually very calm during chaotic, traumatic boo-boo type situations. i have even said outloud before, "ya know i think its a mommy thing that we remain calm for our children's sake."

i am also the type of person that can NOT handle bones sticking out of legs and arms or any appendages pointing in an unnatural direction. i cover my eyes when its on the TV. i dont watch youtube videos of people who have broken bones while doing something stupid. i cringe and look away when the slow motion replay shows a football player having his ankle rolled or knee snapped in half.

so when hudson ran in the door yelling "i broke my finger!" my first instinct was to run to him and begin to care for him in a calm manner. but as the seconds ticked by and i saw his pinkie finger in a 90 degree right angle i LOST it! as i was running to comfort him i immedieately became dizzy, flush and nauseated. i turned from him and said to daren, "oh daddy its broke!" and i fell to my knees. daren, thankfully, began trying to calm hudson down and said its ok we will go to the hospital and get it fixed. i wanted so bad to get in the car and go with them but i also had 2 other children that did not need to be rushed to the ER. after making a few phone calls and finding a friend to watch max and reese i sped to the hospital.

i have to say that i have felt like i failed my oldest son today. i have felt guilty all day that i wasnt able to comfort him in his pain and agony, that as i was running toward him, i saw his finger and ran away from him.

after i arrived at the ER i walked in to daren and hudson talking about how freaked out i was and they were laughing about how "silly" mommy acted. i walked up to hudson and rested my forehead on top of his head and apologized to him for not taking care of him and told him that i loved him about a trillion times. then daren told me something that was like salve to my hurting heart. as he was driving hudson to the ER hudson told him that he had felt bad that he had upset me.

in what has been the most traumatic experience of his 7 years of life, his thoughts, emotions and affections turned to me. even though during the initial trauma i turned away from him.

huh, sounds like someone else i know, JESUS! during the most traumatic experience of his life which was his death on a cross. his thoughts, emotions and affections were on me and the rest of creation that at some point in our lives would turn away from him.

thank you jesus for your UNCONDITIONAL love, mercy, grace and forgivness.

You cant say you didnt know.

I can honestly say that hardly a day goes by that human trafficking specifically child trafficking doesnt cross my mind. I seem to be bombarded with thoughts of children all over the world that have no one to speak up for them no one to give them a hope and a future. The images and statistics that are a reality are forever etched in my mind and heart.

So many days i look at Reese and im reminded of the girls that Daren and I would walk past everyday in Bangkok that were looking for "work." I dont know how many chose to live in prostitution and how many were forced. I dont know how many of the children we saw loading up goods for the street vendors were working with/for their parents or if they were bought by the vendors themselves. Either way they were not in school and not enjoying a normal chilhood of playing, running, imagining, dreaming and laughing.

I dont know what all of this means for me. But i do know that what God has opened my eyes and heart to i can no longer ignore. I can no longer just change the channel to avoid the images. I must continue to find ways to help the least of these.

I hope and pray that more people and especially those who have been changed by the grace, love and mercy of Jesus Christ, will begin to pray about what He would have you do to help the poor, broken, lost, helpless, hurt, vulnerable, hopeless and lonely. WE CAN NOT DO EVERYTHING. WE CAN NOT FIX EVERYTHING. BUT, WE CAN DO SOMETHING!

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

http://www.showhope.com/

http://www.love146.org/

http://www.tomsshoes.com/

http://www.freedom424.com/

http://www.charitywater.com/

world vision

compassion international

Holt international adoption

Bethany Christian Services

what's up with me and god.

there are times when i read god's word i think: "i wonder what that means exactly?" " how am i supposed to apply this to my life?" then there are times when i read scripture and it is very clear, almost too clear what it means and how i am supposed to apply it to my life.

for example: isaiah 1:11 says, the lord says, "i do not want all these sacrifices. i have had enough of your burnt sacrifices of male sheep and fat from fine animals. and i am not pleased by the blood of bulls, lambs, and goats." now how does that really apply to me and what does jesus want me to do with THAT!

i know, i know, i randomly yanked a verse out of the bible and did not even take the previous or latter verses and put them into context. but just a few verses down, after god continues to let his people know all the stuf he is sick of seeing and hearing from them, he says this in verses 16-17 "wash yourselves and make yourselves clean. stop doing wrong. learn to do good. SEEK JUSTICE. PUNISH THOSE WHO HURT OTHERS. HELP THE ORPHANS. STAND UP FOR THE RIGHTS OF WIDOWS.

psalm 82:3 defend the weak and the orphans

deuteronomy 15:11 there will always be poor people in the land, so i command you to give freely to your neighbors and to the poor and needy in your land

psalm 10:18 protect the orphans and put an end to suffering so they will no longer be afraid of evil people

james 1:27 religion that god accepts as pure and without fault is this:caring for orphans and widows who need help

THE VULNERABLE. THE LEAST OF THESE. THE POOR. THE ORPHAN. THE WIDOW.

i cant seem to get these out of my mind and heart. the thousands of children dying everyday, the women and children trapped and lured into human slavery, the poor in my community, the poor across the globe, the hurting, the broken, the helpless...

i am slowly starting to NOT care as much about my clothes, my house, my things, my entertainment, my wish lists, how many toys my kids have, if my floors need to be redone, my countertops are modern and if i have the latest and greatest of everything.

im not saying these things are "bad" but in light of the CLEAR instructions and commands of jesus christ, im not sure i should be "wanting" these things. im so messed up by all of this and god is making me more uncomfortable everyday. but i am thankful hes speaking to my heart.

any thought?

The Meaning

many of you may know and many may not know that i have wanted a tattoo for years. i occasionally spend hours on the internet looking at tattoos and meanings of words and designs. for years i have tought about what i would want if i were to get at tattoo. after all, its forever and i want it to be relevant to my life and also be worth the money and pain i was gonna put into it.

two things have become extreamly important to me over the last few years. one, gods glory and my life being a reflection of his glory. two, adoption. after returning home from bangkok, thailand with our beautiful daughter, reese, i knew that whenever i got a tattoo it would somehow involve adoption. as i would spend spare time playing on the internet i would check out pictures of thailand and its culture and natural beauty. one of the things that i loved about bangkok was that in the midst of an over populated city with buildings and people as far as you could see, there were plants and trees and flowers everywhere. the temples and offering spots for buddah were placed all over the city so that anyone could easily have access to them. and all the buddahs were completely covered in flowers, food and insence. this is another topic i could blog about as far as how committed the thai people are to connecting with their "god" on a daily basis.

the flower that stands out to me is the lotus flower, lotus blossom, water lilly. this flower has significant meaning within the buddist religion but for me it is a symbol of our adoption process with reese. the lotus flower starts its life in the mud. and as it struggles to make its way through the mud and water it rises to the surface and the final product is a beautifully designed flower. as we waited and struggled through paperwork and financial deadlines and waiting and emotions and more waiting the end result was a beautiful little girl that god designed and purposed to be in our family. resse also had her own struggles to get through in order to be adopted. to watch her grieve over the loss of her foster family was the sadest thing that i have ever seen. but our god and his grace, mercy, love and faithfulness got us through the struggles and made a beautiful new family.

do you have a favorite kind of sky? sunrise, sunset, when the clouds are beautiful shades of pink, orange, blue or purple? i love looking at the sky and its beauty but my ultimate all-time favoritest sky is when the sunrays are shining through the clouds. why? im glad you asked. as far back as i can remember i have always thought that is what the glory of god looks like. it causes me to wonder if that is what the throne of god looks like. i feel like those sunrays are gods glory peeking through the clouds so that we can get a glimpse of how awesome he is.

so thats it. thats why i chose this for my tatttoo. its gods glory in adoption. i have not one time regretted it. i love it. brooke cook was the artist who took my thoughts and turned it into something tangible. she did an amazing job! she works at anchor tattoo in bryant and i highly recommed her and her husband ryan if you are looking to get a tattoo.

Umbrella Babies

reflections

ok, so if you read my blog because im the preacher's wife and you hope to gleen wisdom and foresight from my posts, then you are going to be very disappointed!

i thought i would share some reflections over the past 12 hours:

1. "its raining its pouring the old man is snoring. bumped his head went to bed and couldnt get up in the morning." first of all this is a weird song for children to learn. second of all its kind of true. just as i was falling asleep last night i was harshly awakened by a picture that usually rests quietly above my bed, falling on my head! it hurt! and i did not want to get out of bed this morning.

2. when all of my children wake up early in the mornings they usually start the day by being grumpy. three grumpy children ='s one grumpy mommy, its simple math people. however, if a bunny rabbit comes hopping into your back yard to eat your grass for breakfast, then that magically takes away the grumpiness in the three children. this works for at least 15 minutes or until the children scare the poor rabbit away.

3. having to wash ALL of the bedding for 2 beds in the span of 2 days is irritating and time consuming. my sweet, precious, b-e-autiful, adorable daughter cant seem to keep her pee in her diaper. so in the last 2 days i have had to strip and wash her bedding and mine. the funny part is that she did it again this morning in my bed. i know you think, if i were a more attentive mother then i wouldnt let her diaper get to the point of over flowing. and you would be correct in making that assumption. but it is also due to the fact that she is so stinking skinny. if she is sitting in a not-so-lady-like-position then she will have pee all down her legs and consequently all over my bed.

so pump your party fist if your with me!

now, the even funnier part of the last 12 hours is that as i did my best to read from god's word this morning, all of the scripture was about PEACE! HA HA! god has the cutest little ways of teaching me sometimes(notice the hint of sarcasm.) but seriously when i put things in the right perspective i find myself ammused by these little lessons. when i dont keep things in perspective i find myself very overwhelmed and NOT very peaceful.

seacrest out!

Man its been awhile.....

So this picture was taken about 8 monthts ago, and thats how long it has been since i have blogged. I know, i apologize. I was reading a couple of blogs today from two of my friends that are adopting little girls from Ethiopia. One of the couples are still in process and dont even know who their daughter is yet and the other got on a plane today to bring their little one home. It caused me to revisit my blog and look back on all that i had posted about our journey of bringing Reese home. I was amazed at how long ago it seemed and yet memories and emotions came rushing back like it was yesterday. Reese has been home about 9 months now and as crazy as it has been, i cant imagine what it was like NOT having her in our family.

I have spent some time today changing up the look of my blog and remembering how good it felt to get the thoughts out of my head and on to paper (uh, well you know what i mean). I am going to try to update this thing with what all is going on in my crazy world of being a wife and mother of 3 and an owner of an annoying dog named friday.

Well, hope you like the new look of my blog, if not....shhhhhut the front door!

We're Home!

I think i had the expectation that this was going to be like a little vacation with the perks of bringing home a beautiful little girl. But for me it was not like that. i love to travel and go new places but i experienced a little bit of culture shock when we were in tokyo and bangkok. The sights and sounds and smells were so incredibly new and different and no one looked like us or talked like us and it was for some reason wierd being the minority. i kept telling myself i wanted to enjoy all of the experience and take it all in but the stress and anxiety and excitement of the adoption made it hard for me to do that. Now that being said i do have some issues with anxiety and panic attacks which i upped my dosage after we arrived at the hotel :)) Trying to get our bodies accustomed to the time difference and the food and stuf was a little tough, not so much the sleeping as the food. daren and i both had some tummy trouble throughout the entire trip. im sure it was a combo of new foods, our bodies adjusting and nerves.

Meeting reese was really awesome. it was a great morning. she was ok with me holding her as long as the SW or mo was close by. Visiting the foster home was a blessing and very moving. We were able to see reese's personality come out while she interacted with the family. PRICELESS! i did have some motion sickness issues whenever we would ride in the van anywhere. (dramamine) Day 2 of shopping was a good day also. Daren got to hold her at the mall! I kept thinking i just want her, without having to go back to the foster home and without the SW's. i want her!

Well....tuesday was a new day and it was not at all what i had hoped. I was nowhere near ready for how difficult this was going to be over the next 42 hours. I was an emotional wreck. And i'm not one to be like that at all.Watching Reese go through the grieving process was excruciating. As a mom all i wanted to do was comfort her and ease her pain and console her. But she did not want me!! She would hit me and pinch me and resist. Even when she was dead tired and i would be holding her she would not put her head on me. I literally did not know what to do at times and would just put her down in the floor and look into her eyes and see so much pain and i would just cry knowing that i was the one causeing that pain. i felt at times like i didnt know if i could do this. And as embarrassed as i am to say it, there were times that i didnt know if i wanted her. Daren was trying to help me through all of this and he said something that shook me to the core. I remember saying in desperation, "i dont know what to do!" and he said, "what would you want someone to do if it were hudson or max?" and of course, i would want someone to go through whatever it took in order for my babies to feel safe and loved! So i went to bed that night feeling so overwhelmed and guilty and horrible. I spent quite a bit of time praying through the night and next morning asking for an unconditional love for this little girl who doesnt even begin to understand what is going on. So the second day was still very hard but i was able to keep the right attitude and do what i needed to for her.

Reese HATED let me repeat HATED being in the hotel room!! We were constantly out walking around with her which was exhausting. She would tense up and begin to whine as soon as we walked into the hotel lobby.Finally after 2 days she began to trust us bit by bit. We would catch glimpses of the silly little girl we saw the first day in her foster home. So by Thursday we began to get out and do some sight seeing and shopping and it was crazy how we watched her transform.

Now the travel home was also another story. Tourture is the word that comes to mind! Reese hated the flights about as much as she hated the hotel room! All i can say is thank you Lord for the sweet flight attendants on the american airlines flight from Tokyo to Dallas. they played with her, walked her so we could rest. I am pretty sure that at one point i didnt see or hear reese for about 2 hours. they were soooo helpful! We had a man yell at us on that flight! I know who yells at a couple that are obviously adopting a child from a foriegn country!!! unbelievable.

Well all that to say it was an experience that i will never forget. Reese has adjusted so well. She LOVES her big brothers and they have done amazing adjusting to her as well. Once we got home it was tough for the first week but once again everyday, bit by bit she would open up and explore and laugh and eat, man can she eat! It has gone way better than we ever hoped it would since we have been home.



God is faithful, he is trustworthy, he will never leave you, he is strength, he is power, he is wisdom, he is love, he is comfort, he is peace, he is truth, his ways are higher than ours, his plan is greater than ours, he is perfect, his timing is perfect and HE will finish whatever it is HE has started in you!

Meeting Day

On Sunday October 18, 2009 life as I knew it was changed. Daren and I woke up earlier that we wanted to in Bangkok. We knew today was going to be exhausting so we tried to sleep-in but unfortunately could not. We were up walking the streets close to our hotel in search of a Starbucks. We finally found one that was open before 8:00am (i know, wierd huh). They did not have any of the things i like to drink so i opted for a green tea latte. I do not recommend it, im just sayin...

The time seemed to drag by if not stand still. We were so excited and nervous. We sat in the lobby of the hotel just waiting for our social worker to pick us out of the crowd. "Are you Neely's?" "YES!" And we were off! The moment we have been waiting for and dreaming about was here.

We were escorted to a conference room along with another couple where Mo, our Holt social worker went over some things with us and informed us of some more details about the next few days. We could hear a baby crying in the hall and we were trying to guess who's child it was that was crying SO loud. I knew for sure it was Reese because that would be par for the course for our kids, but it wasnt.

As the other social workers brought the 2 girls in i saw Reese and she took my breath away! My first thought was how tiny she was and then quickly to how absolutely beautiful she was. She walked in holding the social workers hand and I slowly walked up to her and knelt down to talk to her. Daren kind of kept his distance and stayed a few steps behind me. We sat in the floor and began playing and interacting. I tried to reach out to her at one point and she didnt really know what to do so i thought no biggie we'll try again in a minute. The SW (social worker) finally placed her in my lap and she began crying. I stood up with her and we went over to the window and that distracted her. From that point on she seemed to be ok with me holding her as long as she could see her SW. We eventually went outside to the pool and fountain area where she walked around and we splashed in the water. When it was time to go in i reached my hands out and she came right to me.

After about and hour or so getting familiar with our babies we went to KFC, yep, The Colonel is alive and well in Bangkok! We ordered Reese fried rice and chicken and she ate all her little tummy could hold. After lunch we visited our hotel room and the SW's came along with us. Reese was great, she played with her new toys and sat on our bed. The ladies took her to the bathtub to kind of introduce that to her and let her play in the water. Reese was so sleepy that as she was sitting on the bed playing she began falling asleep while sitting up. The SW got her to sleep and she took about an hour long nap on our bed.

All in all meeting our daughter was more than i could have hoped for but after all thats the kind of God that we serve. One who does far more than you could ever hope or imagine.

ONE MORE DAY!!!

It's 10:30 in the pm here in Bangkok, and we're about to call it a day, but here's a brief update. We got in at about 2 am this morning and have been asleep most of the day. It's been raining here all day, so we just stayed in and took it easy.

Tomorrow morning we finally get to meet Reese. We'll meet her at 10:30 and get to eat lunch with her. We'll then get to meet her Foster parents tomorrow afternoon around 2:30. We'll post some pictures and hopefully some video tomorrow sometime.

It's been almost two years and it all leads up to in the morning. Excited, but still very anxious. It's off to bed. We'll try to sleep.

10 DAYS AND COUNTING...

Well here we are 10 days away from boarding a plane for Chicago then Tokyo and finally Bangkok! Honestly, i still feel like it is weeks away. Daren and i are going to a church leadership conf in Atlanta and we are leaving wednesday morning. We will be home saturday afternoon. Monday-Thursday will be wierd, hectic, memorable, exciting and sureal. I have left my in-laws and my parents in charge of the boys. They will all do a great job however we will not only have to adjust to being home with reese but also from hudson and max being spoiled by the grandparents. But im not complaining, im thankful that i have family that will rearrange their lives to accomodate us.



I have had trouble processing the fact that we are leaving in less than 2 weeks to bring reese home. I try to think about what it is going to be like and i just go blank. It just feels like a dream, however today i have begun to get really excited. Excited about traveling, cause daren and i love traveling to new places and experiencing different cultures. Excited about meeting reese, and finally being able to touch her. Excited about hudson and max getting a sister and my mom and mom-in-law getting their first granddaughter. Im excited about learning and seeing the culture of the Thai people and how we are going to manage not knowing a single word of the Thai language. Im excited for all our friends and family to meet reese after all they have done to love and support us through this journey. Im excited to see how God is going to change us and how different we will be for having been to Thailand. Im excited to see if reese will like taking a bath or if i am going to be able to fix her hair :) Im excited about expressing my deepest appreciation to the foster family for loving my baby during the 1st year of her life.



We will leave LR at 10:10am on Thursday 15th and land in bangkok at 11:25pm Friday 16th. (25 hr fight)

-Saturday 17th we will have the day to rest and do whatever we chose to do or not do.

-Sunday 18th we will meet reese at our hotel around 10am and hangout with her and eat lunch with her at our hotel. (we may meet the foster family this day)

-Monday 19th we will get to spend the day with reese and do some sight seeing , shopping etc. (we may meet foster family this day)

-Tuesday 20th the social worker will take reese for her dr. check-up and them bring her to us! this will be reese's GOTCHA DAY. She will stay with us for the rest of the trip!

-Wednesday 21st we meet with the Thai dept social dev and welfare and they will interview us and give the final permission for us to adopt reese and take her home with us.

-Wed,Thurs, Fri we are getting reese's Visa and more shopping and sight seeing and getting to know our daughter :)

-Saturday 24th we leave Bangkok 8:00am and arrive back in LR 7:00pm (23 hr flight)



Anyone wanting to sneek a peek of reese is welcome to come see us at the airport when we arrive home.



We will do our very best to update our blogs and facebook throughout the trip!