We're Home!

I think i had the expectation that this was going to be like a little vacation with the perks of bringing home a beautiful little girl. But for me it was not like that. i love to travel and go new places but i experienced a little bit of culture shock when we were in tokyo and bangkok. The sights and sounds and smells were so incredibly new and different and no one looked like us or talked like us and it was for some reason wierd being the minority. i kept telling myself i wanted to enjoy all of the experience and take it all in but the stress and anxiety and excitement of the adoption made it hard for me to do that. Now that being said i do have some issues with anxiety and panic attacks which i upped my dosage after we arrived at the hotel :)) Trying to get our bodies accustomed to the time difference and the food and stuf was a little tough, not so much the sleeping as the food. daren and i both had some tummy trouble throughout the entire trip. im sure it was a combo of new foods, our bodies adjusting and nerves.

Meeting reese was really awesome. it was a great morning. she was ok with me holding her as long as the SW or mo was close by. Visiting the foster home was a blessing and very moving. We were able to see reese's personality come out while she interacted with the family. PRICELESS! i did have some motion sickness issues whenever we would ride in the van anywhere. (dramamine) Day 2 of shopping was a good day also. Daren got to hold her at the mall! I kept thinking i just want her, without having to go back to the foster home and without the SW's. i want her!

Well....tuesday was a new day and it was not at all what i had hoped. I was nowhere near ready for how difficult this was going to be over the next 42 hours. I was an emotional wreck. And i'm not one to be like that at all.Watching Reese go through the grieving process was excruciating. As a mom all i wanted to do was comfort her and ease her pain and console her. But she did not want me!! She would hit me and pinch me and resist. Even when she was dead tired and i would be holding her she would not put her head on me. I literally did not know what to do at times and would just put her down in the floor and look into her eyes and see so much pain and i would just cry knowing that i was the one causeing that pain. i felt at times like i didnt know if i could do this. And as embarrassed as i am to say it, there were times that i didnt know if i wanted her. Daren was trying to help me through all of this and he said something that shook me to the core. I remember saying in desperation, "i dont know what to do!" and he said, "what would you want someone to do if it were hudson or max?" and of course, i would want someone to go through whatever it took in order for my babies to feel safe and loved! So i went to bed that night feeling so overwhelmed and guilty and horrible. I spent quite a bit of time praying through the night and next morning asking for an unconditional love for this little girl who doesnt even begin to understand what is going on. So the second day was still very hard but i was able to keep the right attitude and do what i needed to for her.

Reese HATED let me repeat HATED being in the hotel room!! We were constantly out walking around with her which was exhausting. She would tense up and begin to whine as soon as we walked into the hotel lobby.Finally after 2 days she began to trust us bit by bit. We would catch glimpses of the silly little girl we saw the first day in her foster home. So by Thursday we began to get out and do some sight seeing and shopping and it was crazy how we watched her transform.

Now the travel home was also another story. Tourture is the word that comes to mind! Reese hated the flights about as much as she hated the hotel room! All i can say is thank you Lord for the sweet flight attendants on the american airlines flight from Tokyo to Dallas. they played with her, walked her so we could rest. I am pretty sure that at one point i didnt see or hear reese for about 2 hours. they were soooo helpful! We had a man yell at us on that flight! I know who yells at a couple that are obviously adopting a child from a foriegn country!!! unbelievable.

Well all that to say it was an experience that i will never forget. Reese has adjusted so well. She LOVES her big brothers and they have done amazing adjusting to her as well. Once we got home it was tough for the first week but once again everyday, bit by bit she would open up and explore and laugh and eat, man can she eat! It has gone way better than we ever hoped it would since we have been home.



God is faithful, he is trustworthy, he will never leave you, he is strength, he is power, he is wisdom, he is love, he is comfort, he is peace, he is truth, his ways are higher than ours, his plan is greater than ours, he is perfect, his timing is perfect and HE will finish whatever it is HE has started in you!

Meeting Day

On Sunday October 18, 2009 life as I knew it was changed. Daren and I woke up earlier that we wanted to in Bangkok. We knew today was going to be exhausting so we tried to sleep-in but unfortunately could not. We were up walking the streets close to our hotel in search of a Starbucks. We finally found one that was open before 8:00am (i know, wierd huh). They did not have any of the things i like to drink so i opted for a green tea latte. I do not recommend it, im just sayin...

The time seemed to drag by if not stand still. We were so excited and nervous. We sat in the lobby of the hotel just waiting for our social worker to pick us out of the crowd. "Are you Neely's?" "YES!" And we were off! The moment we have been waiting for and dreaming about was here.

We were escorted to a conference room along with another couple where Mo, our Holt social worker went over some things with us and informed us of some more details about the next few days. We could hear a baby crying in the hall and we were trying to guess who's child it was that was crying SO loud. I knew for sure it was Reese because that would be par for the course for our kids, but it wasnt.

As the other social workers brought the 2 girls in i saw Reese and she took my breath away! My first thought was how tiny she was and then quickly to how absolutely beautiful she was. She walked in holding the social workers hand and I slowly walked up to her and knelt down to talk to her. Daren kind of kept his distance and stayed a few steps behind me. We sat in the floor and began playing and interacting. I tried to reach out to her at one point and she didnt really know what to do so i thought no biggie we'll try again in a minute. The SW (social worker) finally placed her in my lap and she began crying. I stood up with her and we went over to the window and that distracted her. From that point on she seemed to be ok with me holding her as long as she could see her SW. We eventually went outside to the pool and fountain area where she walked around and we splashed in the water. When it was time to go in i reached my hands out and she came right to me.

After about and hour or so getting familiar with our babies we went to KFC, yep, The Colonel is alive and well in Bangkok! We ordered Reese fried rice and chicken and she ate all her little tummy could hold. After lunch we visited our hotel room and the SW's came along with us. Reese was great, she played with her new toys and sat on our bed. The ladies took her to the bathtub to kind of introduce that to her and let her play in the water. Reese was so sleepy that as she was sitting on the bed playing she began falling asleep while sitting up. The SW got her to sleep and she took about an hour long nap on our bed.

All in all meeting our daughter was more than i could have hoped for but after all thats the kind of God that we serve. One who does far more than you could ever hope or imagine.

ONE MORE DAY!!!

It's 10:30 in the pm here in Bangkok, and we're about to call it a day, but here's a brief update. We got in at about 2 am this morning and have been asleep most of the day. It's been raining here all day, so we just stayed in and took it easy.

Tomorrow morning we finally get to meet Reese. We'll meet her at 10:30 and get to eat lunch with her. We'll then get to meet her Foster parents tomorrow afternoon around 2:30. We'll post some pictures and hopefully some video tomorrow sometime.

It's been almost two years and it all leads up to in the morning. Excited, but still very anxious. It's off to bed. We'll try to sleep.

10 DAYS AND COUNTING...

Well here we are 10 days away from boarding a plane for Chicago then Tokyo and finally Bangkok! Honestly, i still feel like it is weeks away. Daren and i are going to a church leadership conf in Atlanta and we are leaving wednesday morning. We will be home saturday afternoon. Monday-Thursday will be wierd, hectic, memorable, exciting and sureal. I have left my in-laws and my parents in charge of the boys. They will all do a great job however we will not only have to adjust to being home with reese but also from hudson and max being spoiled by the grandparents. But im not complaining, im thankful that i have family that will rearrange their lives to accomodate us.



I have had trouble processing the fact that we are leaving in less than 2 weeks to bring reese home. I try to think about what it is going to be like and i just go blank. It just feels like a dream, however today i have begun to get really excited. Excited about traveling, cause daren and i love traveling to new places and experiencing different cultures. Excited about meeting reese, and finally being able to touch her. Excited about hudson and max getting a sister and my mom and mom-in-law getting their first granddaughter. Im excited about learning and seeing the culture of the Thai people and how we are going to manage not knowing a single word of the Thai language. Im excited for all our friends and family to meet reese after all they have done to love and support us through this journey. Im excited to see how God is going to change us and how different we will be for having been to Thailand. Im excited to see if reese will like taking a bath or if i am going to be able to fix her hair :) Im excited about expressing my deepest appreciation to the foster family for loving my baby during the 1st year of her life.



We will leave LR at 10:10am on Thursday 15th and land in bangkok at 11:25pm Friday 16th. (25 hr fight)

-Saturday 17th we will have the day to rest and do whatever we chose to do or not do.

-Sunday 18th we will meet reese at our hotel around 10am and hangout with her and eat lunch with her at our hotel. (we may meet the foster family this day)

-Monday 19th we will get to spend the day with reese and do some sight seeing , shopping etc. (we may meet foster family this day)

-Tuesday 20th the social worker will take reese for her dr. check-up and them bring her to us! this will be reese's GOTCHA DAY. She will stay with us for the rest of the trip!

-Wednesday 21st we meet with the Thai dept social dev and welfare and they will interview us and give the final permission for us to adopt reese and take her home with us.

-Wed,Thurs, Fri we are getting reese's Visa and more shopping and sight seeing and getting to know our daughter :)

-Saturday 24th we leave Bangkok 8:00am and arrive back in LR 7:00pm (23 hr flight)



Anyone wanting to sneek a peek of reese is welcome to come see us at the airport when we arrive home.



We will do our very best to update our blogs and facebook throughout the trip!

OH MY GOSH!

So this morning i was being lazy. I got up and started getting Hudson ready for school and then tag-teamed Daren and he drove him to school. I proceeded to get back in bed and lay there. Falling in and out of sleep I felt Max crawl in the bed with me and we both laid there wondering if we were going to sleep in on this rainey morning or get up and be productive. It was unanimous and staying in the bed won. After breakfast in bed, chai tea in bed, watching cartoons in bed, reading my Bible in bed and checking my facebook and twitter in bed i finally got out of bed. I gave Max the "mommy's gonna get in the shower so dont do anything you are not supposed to do" spill. As i was heading into the bathroom the phone rang....it was the area code i had been waiting for! I answered and it was the sweet lady from Holt adoption agency and she called with great news! She told me that it had been confirmed for us to be at the Oct 21st meeting in Thailand. I believe my response was "OH MY GOSH!" We covered a few topics about traveling and expected dates to arrive and leave, things of that nature and that was it.

So after 20+ months of waiting here we are 3 weeks away from meeting our baby girl. I cant believe it. What is she going to look like in person? Is she going to like us or be scared to death of us? How will the foster family react to us? How will we be able to express our gratitude and thankfulness to them? What will Reese smell like? Will it freak her out that we cant communicate with her verbally? Will we have to hold her all the time or will she want to walk and explore? Will she even want us to hold her? Will she accept me? Will she accept Daren? Will our days in Thailand, my child native home, be filled with excitement and joy or pain and tears. How do you take in everything about the culture and beauty of the country in a few short days so that you can tell her about it for years to come?

I dont know the answer to any of these questions but i have a God who does! He created the universe and the galaxies and the stars and earth, the cells and atoms, protons and electrons. He created me and he formed me and He purposed me for this specific event! Before time existed He chose me to be the mother of a little girl born on the other side of the earth. How can I NOT trust someone who loves me and knows me so intimately?

I will never understand Gods love for me but i bet after holding Reese and making her a part of our family, that i will see His love in a new way. And that is what i long for!

Final Update of Reese

So I had been praying and asking God for the Thailand board meeting of October 21. I want with all my heart for God to bring Reese into our home in His perfect timing. However I am also longing to hold my baby in my arms and watch Daren with his "little girl" and see how the boys are going to like being big brothers.

Well days came and went and more waiting was the name of the game. On Wednesday Sept 16th I got an email from Holt saying that unfortunately we were not going to be able to travel in October but it was hopeful for November. This email also came with a final update on Reese with new pictures. So while I was disappointed I was excited about seeing how much she had grown and how she was developing.

I have not stopped lookin at the pictures of Reese. I study them and try to read into her personality and wonder what she is like. As I was siiting in the pick up line at Hudson's school today my phone rang and it was Daren. I answered and he said "well it looks like we are tentatively traveling to Thailand for the Oct 21st meeting." My response was "SHUT-UP!" We got an email telling us that we were possibly traveling and I could not believe it! We will have to wait(what's new) till the end of next week for confirmation.

Reality is setting in yet at the same time it still doesnt seem real.

Either way God is who he says He is and i believe He will do what He has promised to do!

1st update of Reese

Reese is the name that we chose for this sweet baby girl. Her Thai name is Raronrun, yea thats what we thought too. That may not work well here in the ol USofA much less Arkansas. So Reese it is. The Jury is still out on her middle name.

About 6-8 weeks after we recieved her referral we got another update. We were blown away at how much she had changed. She wasn't a baby anymore she was a toddler.

We have been able to send her little packages with small gifts and a photo album with family pictures in it. She turned 1 on July 26th so we had a little birthday party for her. The guests were me, Daren, Hudson and Max. we decorated with a pink table cloth and pink plates with pink cupcakes. We got her a baby doll and an interactive tea set. After we all shared what we were excited about concerning Reese we prayed for her and ate her hot pink cupcakes.

When i try to imagine what it is going to be like traveling to get her and then bringing her home i get lost in my thoughts and overwhelmed because its hard to imagine. I have nothing to compare this to. The journey of adoption is just that a journey. My faith has been stretched my prayer life has deepened and God has shown me so much about myself and Him that i never knew. It has been exciting, heartbreaking, joyful, emotional, rewarding, scary, refreshing, nerve wracking and fun. I'm not doing it justice with my descriptions but if you want to be apart of God's glory this is an awesome way .

Reese

In January 08 we applied to adopt a little girl from Thailand with the Holt International adoption agency. After 14 months of paperwork and waiting and then more paperwork and more waitng we finally got a referral for a little girl that was 8 months old. We were given a few days to decide if she was the little girl for us. After a lot of prayer and talking we had decided that this was the little girl that God wanted in our family. At this point we had not seen her picture, we had only read her profile and medical reports. After seeing her sweet little face we most definately knew she was meant for us. Daren and I both said "thats our baby."

First Post

Hey, this the first post.